According to Teresa Ghilarducci, work has unconscious psychological benefits – easy time boundaries, ritual use of time, self-identification, meaning and emotional support. What is lost at retirement Ghilarducci calls PRIME – standing for protection, routine, identity, meaning, and emotional regulation. As somewhat new to the cohort of retired professionals we are learning firsthand the implications of our changed living environments on these elements. Fair to say that we have not yet fully come to grips with these. The protection was perhaps the most not anticipated one, but it is true that while we were working we had a clear routine – basically connecting at noon for lunch followed by a walk but otherwise pursuing independent routines from getting up until closing the workday. It is enjoyable to have breakfast together but to this day we are a little bit tardy in our morning routines which puts the start of the day often around 10am. There is no true threshold on walking in on each other and setting expectations of what interruptions in individual activities are acceptable requires some learning. While at work I had an open-door policy so a colleague walking in asking a question or having a brief conversation was not an issue and it is not now either. It is more challenging if interruptions lead to immediate activities that require more time than just a quick chat – possibly of unknown duration. We are still working on navigating such situations.
Routine is a matter of self-discipline, and we are zeroing in on a more regular wake-up call with sufficient time for our mutual desire to have ample of time for exercise – not just the metered 30 minutes we allowed during our previous working routine.
Meaning and emotional support require the most work! And it does take time! Leading up to our retirement decision we had frequent and lengthy conversations about this very fact – taking in experiences of friends in the same situation and their approach to replace the contributions that workplace offered prior. One of our befriended couples started a farm which ultimately turned out to be a new job for both. Other friends go on combined work-travel journeys abroad – contributing and earning some money while obtaining the opportunity to meet new people and to explore the sights of their destination. I made myself a list of things to do which include the activity of writing things like these observations which are rewarding and satisfying. There are also several projects that require learning new skills – already proven during work times to be awarding and meaningful. The path of volunteering creates opportunities for meeting new people and contributing to meaningful work – Rotary and Habitat for humanity are my practical examples. It still takes an effort to set these up, and it is sure worth it. Almost like previously with work projects pursuing a strategy – iterative approaches and small steps with evaluating the results against the interest and desire – lead to incremental progress towards a satisfying state.